44th Birthday Reflections
It’s been my birthday month this January! 44 revolutions of the Sun and I have learned some things...
This year, instead of adding or getting more stuff, I removed something. In the 3D sense, this was my tooth - a molar in my left lower jaw. In tooth reflexology this one connects to my lungs meridian. And on emotional-somatic levels it is connected to my mother and how I am affected by her energies and how I may feel stifled by her. My mum died very suddenly in October, 2013, and in Traditional Chinese Medicine, and elsewhere, it is understood that the lungs is where we hold our grief. I have always felt that the relationship I had with my mum was deep, meaningful and nourishing. This is also my 10th year of living in this world without her physical presence - in numerology that’s 10, which reduces to a 1. A new beginning. The start of a new cycle.
Everything is connected! While in the busy, day to day living and DOing, I may not see all the connections; but over the years of my life to date, I’ve learned to trust more and more, that everything is all connected. That there is always deeper meaning and learning to absorb, as the fractals of my minute existence unfurl wider and wider, dancing the spiral into this great Cosmos! That my patience is rewarded by the eventual revealing to my dear, laser-focused conscious mind, where the spread-out dots actually connect. For otherwise, what is the purpose of living here? I gently and consciously hold the belief that everything I go through is an opportunity for growth and deeper self knowledge. Nothing is random. In fact, I’m a hard-ass — telling myself an event was random is a form of denial. It’s also discounting the guidance my soul is giving me as I dance within this wild and glorious life.
Now that I reflect on the intimate relationship I had with my mum, I can see the buried parts I didn’t want to face so that we could keep our time here together more fun. Certainly a co-dependent situation; and one where as empaths we each wanted to spare the other any pain at all. I sensed her pain of the past, and she possibly projected her fear of my potential pain onto me. However, looking back over this last decade and 9 year cycle since her death, I am Gratefully connecting so many dots I felt confused about. With this strange new hole in my jaw, which is healing just perfectly btw, I’m aware more than ever before of the space I’m creating for a new cycle. One where I use my empathy for myself as I step into my own inner child’s mother role; where I set clear boundaries with everyone through body language and direct communication; one where I acknowledge any codependent behaviours in other relationships and actively and lovingly disengage from them — which ultimately will (I believe) bring my attention to how I can stop stifling myself. I know my mum did not stifle me; I perceived it that way in my child's mind from some or several experiences - a story I made up to make sense of something back then. I definitely see evidence looking back now that I uploaded the programming of, Don’t shine too bright because you’ll be a bragger, or, put more plainly, a fear of success. With the loving light of this awareness shining here now, my path becomes ever more clear! Yay! Confusion can be a real test to my patience so I am grateful for these reflective insights for my birthday!
In other news, I am nearing the end of my official life coach training! It was finally time for me step into this space, and I am getting excited to see where it leads. For now I am calling myself an embodiment & vitality coach, where my focus is on how to tap into vitality right Now, so you can unravel restrictive belief patterns that are keeping you stuck! If you're interested in playing with me, click HERE and fill out a short in-take form. Playing rather than working, since play is how the brain is designed to learn, and it's much faster and efficient when playing ;-) So much in life can feel heavy and burdensome, but the journey of self-discovery is a life-long endeavour, and that deserves to be honoured and revered as the most FUN, exciting and impactful experience of all! Click or tap HERE to connect with me and get seriously playful!
This birthday really has been the most enlightening one yet! I'd love to know of any of Your personal reflections from birthdays or other sacred moments, when dots connected and you 'got it'! Comment or send me a message. I'd love to connect.